An unnatural obsession: A case against Patriarchy

By Tim Gibbons: Published in the High Plains View July 25, 2008.

“Woman ought to serve her husband as unto God, affirming that in no thing hath woman equal power with man...affirming that woman ought to be repressed.” -Saint Augustine
“A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.” (Holy Bible, Book of First Timothy 2:11-13)
“Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could.” - Abigail Adams
Patriarchy, or father (male) ruled society has been the social norm in our modern world and the last several thousand years of history. It has brought forth marvels of engineering, science and technology.
But, on the dark side of the equation, it has brought forth violence, war, slavery and oppression.
Consider these statistics:
Research suggests that an act of domestic violence occurs every 15 minutes and claims a woman's life every 21 days.
The FBI reports that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury among women ages 15 to 44.
Studies show that 85% of all domestic violence victims are female compared to only 15% of men. 22% of surveyed women report physical violence by an intimate partner compared with 7.4% of men.
Some have argued that such statistics are not accurate because men are afraid to speak out against their abusive wives...we men may be strong, silent types, but we are not that quiet.
"We think it is important to note that there have been the same kind of studies done in many countries. There is cross-cultural verification that women are more violent than men in family settings. When behavior has cross-cultural verification it means that it is part of human nature rather than a result of cultural conditioning. Females are most often the perpetrators in spousal violence in most cultures that have been studied to date. That leads many professionals to conclude that there is something biological about violent females in family situations. Researchers are now exploring the role of the 'territorial imperative' as a factor in women's violence against men. Women see the home as their territory. Like many other species on the planet, we humans will ignore size difference when we experience conflict on our own territory. So, the scientific results that reveal the violence of American women are not unique to our culture, and do not indicate a special pathology among American women. World wide, women are more violent than men in family settings." - Revs. Sam Sewell of Family Resources & Research.
Women face a greater danger of rape with 17.6% of women reporting that they were the victims of completed or attempted rape with only 3% of men reporting the same.
“If you should take your wife in adultery, you may with impunity put her to death without a trail – but if you should commit adultery or indecency, she must not presume to lay a finger on you, nor does the law allow it.” Cato the Censor.
Much of this research has come to light in recent times as earlier women had few, if any, rights to due process and equality under law. Traditionally the husband was judge, jury and executioner and could do with his family what suited him without fear of reprisal.
More damning than the patriarchy itself is the inclusion of male dominated religions, especially the monotheistic beliefs, most of which were created only within the last two thousand years. Despite the wide variation and interpretations of a single male god, all these beliefs agree on one thing, man is superior, woman inferior.
Within the guidelines of religion, man is “ordained by God” as priest and ruler of his home and is often viewed to have direct link to God.
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Holy Bible, Book of Ephesians 5:22-24)
“Men are the maintainers of women, with what Allah has made some of them to excel others and with what they spend out of their wealth. So the good women are obedient, guarding the unseen [husband's rights] as Allah has guarded.” (The Holy Quran, Chapter 4, Part 5, Verse 34a).
The problem with this “god ordained authority” is that there is no check and balance in place to govern the man. While many men claim they are following, “the will of God”, in actually they are merely following their own interpretations of what THEY believe God would have them do.
Psychologically, men are far more aggressive and competitive than women. While a woman's main psychological drive is based upon preservation and nurturing, especially if she is a mother, men value competition even over self-preservation.
While such a competitive nature is not wrong, unless it is disciplined and tempered it will be destructive. Such is the case with the patriarchy, man is supreme and needs to recognize no authority other than himself or the guy who proves to be tougher.
This has also lead to an unhealthy obsession with self in most men, more commonly known as narcissism. Narcissism is the scientific term for a psychological condition in which there exists an excessive self-love.
Is it any wonder that so many religious men turn to sexuality outside of the home, including pornography, man's love of self turns into a lust which can only be satisfied in fantasy.
Narcissism breeds narcissism until we have, as is evident in most religious communities, not only individuals obsessed with themselves, but whole societies based upon obsessive self love.
In his book, “The Culture of Narcissism”, Christopher Lasch, a historian and social critic, described 'social narcissism' as one in which every activity and relationship is defined by the hedonistic need to acquire the symbols of spiritual wealth, this becoming the only expression of rigid, yet, covert, social hierarchies.
Woe be it to the woman or child who makes their husband or father appear less than spiritual. Patriarchy has indeed advanced man's technology, but the question that must be asked is; at what cost?